Thursday, February 14, 2008
It's Valentines Day. All thoughts turn to love. Those of us that feel they have their full and those who feel they are lacking...we all think of it today, either running to CVS for cards or grumbling about this as a manufactured holiday... I ofcourse love my hubby and my daughter, but I was thinking as I sketched today about other types of love.
I have had 2 lifelong love affairs: Art and music. I write here all of the time about art. So, I'm thinking to day about music. Music that takes you through the moments of your life and that you return to time and time again, winds it way into your heart. And when you hit the play button, it washes over you in a flood of emotions, memories and experiences.
I have been so busy since the BNL cruise that I haven't really reflected on it. To spend thousands of dollars to have 3-4 days with a band, is a form of love.
The cruise was great. But I came off of that boat with musical whiplash. It was sensory overload. Guster was sing along fun as usual but I most enjoyed hiding inside the quiet moments of Joe Pisapia's set. Barenaked Ladies consistently make me fall in love with them again and again.
I have not stopped thinking about Steven Page, the lead singer of BNL since. I have always favored him a little, tho I don't want to have his baby or want to lick his sweat off of his body(yuck-did I write that?) I got that out of my system with Simon Le Bon. But I admired his singing. I dug his "John Lennon-ish" sardonic wit and seemingly tempermental, literate, artistic countenance. His retro tinged clothes and clean cut appearance perhaps suggested he was a safe version of a rock star. The funny guy you want to hang out with.
So, on this years' cruise- the dude was different. He looked different, dressed different... was different. And then there was "Bartles". His musical alter ego. Richard Simmons meets Mike Reno. He wore a wrestling unitard and green socks with a red satin jacket and headband. And candy cane sunglasses. He did a hip shaking boogy-down dance with manic intensity. His smile was euphoric. He sang so hard his voice broke all over the place. He was transformed. He seemed - free.
I was transfixed watching him. I know he's had big changes in his personal life. I really shouldn't know or care about it, since I don't really know him. But after all of these years of following this band around, I do care. Plus, when someone brings you joy and makes the music you turn to often to help navigate the twists and turns of life-- you want them to be happy too.
In analyzing my bizarre fixation on the "Bartles" - and indeed, I do need to get over it- It forces me to analyze myself. I've figured out it's about age. I'm 37 too. Mid- Life. How did I get here? Staring down the barrel of 40 forces one to ask those questions like.."What am I doing with my life?" "Am I happy" "Where do I go from here?" - maybe in our late 30's; We all should put on some spandex and satin and shake our hips and sing til our voice breaks. Feeling a little free, maybe you can figure it all out a little easier. I hope he does. I hope I do.
So for Valentine's Day, I'll put on some great music tonight with the hubby and make some memories.