September

This was my point of view of the manhattan skyline from 1993-1996. My apartment gazed across the river over the path of the Staten Island ferry. I had the best view in the whole freakin world. I could see to the left as far as Hoboken and to the right clear to Coney Island. And center, the Twin Towers.

What can one say that hasn't been said? The pain's still there, the tears still flow. My hatred for the president is incalcualable. I close my eyes and I can feel the 18 mos old Maggie I clutched as I huddled alone with her in my house in Long Beach as F16's passed overhead. I drove up the hill of Lawson Boulevard today, where dozens of us stood outside of our cars and watched as the first tower collapsed.

My fears today are greater than that day. Maggie is seven. What have we become America? What will you be for her?

New ideas

I've got a new idea for a book. This is the first character sketch. It looks too animated...I will get away from the computer for a while...crack open the paints and pencils. This idea was born out of the sleepless night I spent after the meeting with the Art Director at Clarion Books. She said I was "mass market", "appealing", "commercial" which I liken to being called the artistic equivalent of cheese whiz. I was not right for Clarion , due to my drawing style being so heavily influenced by my animation and licensed character background. She said I draw "too" well. The eyes are too big. The palette too "happy". I need to "mess things up." I have since digested her comments...some were hard to swallow, some were much needed in a medicinal kayo-pectate kinda way.... and others..well, I just purged. I am me. I draw from the place I exist... it's a happy place. I shall forge on in this pursuit of childrens books...

what's happenin'

This morning, 7 1/2 years old, my daughter went off to second grade. She looks 10.She picked out that outfit all by herself...I can't just shop for her anymore. She has good taste in sneaks. She is sooooo like me...it hurts. And then, she is so not like me in other ways, and those are the ways that amaze, intrigue, perplex and confound me. She's incredibly imaginative, to the point of having to do reality checks on her... which I could say is all me. But she's very interested in facts of all kinds, which I 'll give to the husband. Then there are the uniquely Maggie, maggie-isms. And these are what I hope bring her through life, and more immediately this year at school. She arrived today to find all of her pals were in another class together. She had Paul in her class. Paul was her "Guy freind" last year. We'd much prefer Paul and some of her girl friends sprinkled in, I felt nauseous all morning about her not having playdates this year... And then I thought, I bet she'll come home happy as a clam. 'Cause that's Maggie's way. So, we shall see....

I'm kinda art stymied here. I'll have to get some inspirational fibre and get things flowing again.... This morning I let Jabba, the 7 1/2 mos old golden retriever out into the yard...only to hear a strange sound a few minutes later, clump, clump. clump shwooosh! Clump clump clump...shwoosh! He was climbing up the ladder of the playset and sliding down the slide!!!! Stupid pet tricks here we come!!!!

One Crazy Summer...

September has come.... School starts this Wednesday..my class ended, the publisher meeting is past, freelance..almost over(hopefully) ... Husband's company barbecue in the backyard...came and went.... what's left to stress out about? My birthday.

It has been one crazy summer. It went by faster than any in memory. I've wanted to work for years...becareful what you wish for. I've discovered a new appeciation for the working Mom. I will go in to the meeting with the publisher another day...It's worth a long post or two... But for now...as I prepare to turn ........ thirty-#@*&%seven..................... ??? I'll put on the Clash and de-stress the summer away...bring on the Fall! Bring on 37....

IF Alphabets

Old stuff...Kid's wall art. Done for a friend's baby room. I collect old coloring books,birthday cards and tin toys...and was inspired to do this. I thought it could have been turned into prints....

the face of stress

Yes, I am crazy to post this picture. Tomorrow, things will seem much different. Today...I may need resuscitation.

Holy Crap!

Holy Crap...indeed. I stayed up last night til 2 a.m. Putting together my book for this visit with the children's book publisher. As I wearily climbed into bed..I heard the dog, Jabba, whine..... I thought...shhhhh, Go to sleep Jabba. I was awoken 6 or seven times by the dog's whines....but I was delirious. Can you smell what's coming?
7 a.m.
Shit storm.
The poor puppy had massive diarrhea in his crate. It was all over him. All over the toy duck, the crate...and then....he saw me and he began to wag his tail. Hurricane Dean's got nothing on this. The shit hit the fan...really. It hit the FAN.
What a way to start the day.
Cleaned the dog, cleaned the crate, waited to hear Hubby yell about having pets...(He cleaned the walls)....
Now I have to go to lif drawing, Kinko's, Starbucks for a quadruple shot....come back...make sure immodium is working for the dog....take Mags to Lazer Tag b'day party...finish book....and crash til tomorrow a.m. Oy! It smells here, I'm gonna light a candle.

Ommm...mmmmillkbone......

New Buddha Dog=Maggie told me to fix the feet...so I will. Art Directors, sheesh...

Captain

I've always wanted to submit for illustration friday...but never had the time. I still don't but..what the hey? I'll throw out a doodle for now....

I am what I am and that's all that I am.....

I have worked myself sick the last two weeks. Freelance(Oy don't get me started) Class work...all of the time with this children's book publisher in mind. I tried to keep my brain in "the zone" from 8:30 - 1:00 a.m.. for days and days.... Pumping myself up... you can do this...after all of this time... Obviously I've over stressed myself. So at midnight last night, I tore off my clothes and jumped in the pool, naked. It was cold.
Today I am slightly less stressed. I see this meeting as not so important. Maybe they'll like my art, maybe they won't.

JustinTeaser#3

Woo Hoo! I finally finished one homework assignment.....all summer long.....

"The Age of MOM"...??????

Watching the today show. There's a story on the new prominence of birthing plans in the delivery room. I'm all for a birthing plan. No woman should come away from the birth experience feeling rail roaded into situations she did not want..such as an unnecessary C section. BUT having said that... There are birthing plans and there are birthing PLANS. The story was about the new trend towards planning everything down to the music, the lighting, the temp in the room, the timing, what the doctor is wearing...yadda yadda on and on... So, the Today brings on the requisite "talking head expert" from COOKIE magazine. I hate cookie magazine. She declares this, "The AGE of MOM"! - "Mothers today want to assert their desires and micromanage every aspect of their children's lives from birth on." .. My book anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

P.S. Don't buy Cookie magazine.... I'm pretty sure you'll find copies of it in all of those Hummers......

PPSS.: It's always been the "Age of Mom"

JustinTeaser#2

Teaser postcard number 2. 1 more.... my eyes are killing me.

changed..

Buddha Dog- revisions revisions revisions

The robe is too bright..the beads are too orange; the pupils too small.....Have I mentioned my trouble with being art directed?That I fall in love with my art too quick? I'll give them one more revision.... This job is paying for my class with Stephen Silver at Schoolism in October. Back to the Buddha board...

8/09: Beads are too big now..remove the medallion...oy vey.

Take a Chance on me...

This is "teaser art" of an illustration from an idea I have for a children's book. It's called "Just in case, Justin Case" It's about a little boy(Justin-5) and his mom. She is a very nervous young, first time mother. Which is totally understandable BUT we are raising our kids today in the age of fear.. and soooo many Moms are going over board, and she does. She's got a holster of Purell...she makes sure Justin has every safety precaution on the market and the result is...he has no fun. He can't just be a kid. A messy, confident, inquisitive kid free to explore the world around him. His life and activities are so structured to insure maximum clearance from all unsafe unhygienic obstacles. And she tells him, when he protests...Just in case, Justin Case. The thing is.. Justin wants to GO! He wants to run, he especially wants to do the monkey bars..(unthinkable to Mom). He asserts his independence at the playground, and in doing so...after Mom has a heart attack... he is happy, proud of himself for crossing the monkey-bars.... and Mom gets the message. We have to let our kids be themselves. We have to let them fall, get scraped...get dirty and germy...or they will never be all they can be. This is partially based on my own fears when Mags was small, but also a little on a few friends of mine...who shall remain nameless...I had to keep drawing the Mom over and over again to lose the likeness. This image is "The First Day of Pre-K" Justin's got the SPF 2000 Sun Suit, Helmet with GPS locator satellite, Bar coded I.D. , UV Protect-ant safety goggles, Velcro sneaks, Ergonomic rolling backpack and elbow pads...He's wondering why no one else is dressed the same....
So.. It's not totally written yet... I want to do three images from it this week cause Aug. 22 My class is going to Clarion Books to meet a publisher. I have no delusions of getting this published. But nothing ventured nothing gained. It shows what I can do. I think it came out well. It's not a full illustration of the scene..that's still in my head...it's for a postcard I am having printed.
Anyway, if you read this or stumble upon this blog...I welcome some feedback!

Saddle Shoes Studios

I love saddle shoes. I wore them as a kid. They were the first day of school shoes and my twirling squad shoes. I wore metal plates in my shoes as a kid to try to "grow an arch" - I have flat feet. At Buster Browns' (the only place that had shoes that fit the plates) Saddle Shoes were as exciting as a shoe got. I have a few pairs now, I wear them in the fall. I have pictures of my grandmother wearing white souled saddle shoes in the 1930's. In the picture above, you can see my Mom's pair from the 1950's they are navy and white) and Maggie's pair from when she was a baby. I have all the shoes around the studio. They symbolize a constant...a style that never goes away..some may think they are cheesey or dorky but I think they are classic. They are a symbol of what I hold dear..nostalgia for a simpler time and all the important women in my life.

Somebody asked me tonight why I call my "business" of commercial art Saddle Shoes Studios.. and then told me of her childhood memories of wearing saddle shoes as a kid. Great story... good question...good memories..that's why.

Before and After

The attic is my studio. It also seems to be the dumping ground for many many things. We have crawl spaces under the eaves and the storage areas are hot. So, the stuff doesn't always make it inside. It's much nicer up here now. I have to put the nose to the grind stone!

Cleaning the Studio....

Today, I must clean the studio. It has reached a point of critical mass. I can't work in this...So, I am blasting the Xm Radio and sneezing like crazy. Yesterday, I submitted some children's wall art to Oopsy Daisy Fine Art for Kids. I hope I hear back from them. I have had three offers to buy this panda... I'd rather have prints made and sell them I think. It's a big piece, like 24 by 30 at least. It would look great in a kids room. I have others in this animal series. I need to do something with them.

Oh the humanity! Me as a simpsons' character...

I had to delete the walking one...I couldn't take it. I looked like Marge's younger zaftig sister.

Everybody's workin for the weekend...

Do you remember that song? I actually liked Loverboy back when I was 11/12. The singer wore those tight red leather pants...and a bandana around his head... ahhh the 80's.
The clients have spoken... I have not been voted off the island. A chubbier Buddha...less kooky expression...The Womb service baby was the chosen one..chubbier as well. Simpler, a little more cartoonish. They are submitted for character approval..next step... three buddah poses and 4 baby tee's. Now, on to homework.

Apologies...

I must apologize for the last post. Quite a rant. Let's all stare at the pretty kitty and be soothed into calmness.... This is from a series of art for kid's walls I have in a sketchbook. I will paint it when I get a chance. They are inspired by the under valued, under viewed "Gay Puree" animated movie of the 1960's. Fabulous!! Judy Garland, Robert Goulet and killer design...please rent it.
I'm not angry anymore.... I will avoid the nail salon from now on. ;)

Cranky

This is messy. I hope you can get the gist. Two Moms. School drop off. HUMMER. No parking zone. Cell phone. HUGE ass sunglasses. Toe nail polish... "It's a new color, it's called Carbon footprint." "Isn't it cute?" "Cute! Ooooo... I want that ! "

I hate Hummers. No one needs a car this big! B-Sh*t! And I always see women driving them. I wasn't aware women had entered the car as "Mine is bigger than yours.." argument... I can not stand the conspicuous consumption especially in the face of the climate crisis.
Grrrrrrrrr......
Can you tell I'm angry!? I'm angry.

Long night's journey into day....

Thursdays are tough. I'm dragging... I drew this in class and on the train home last night. My cat's plotting....soon he will strike!

I'm sooooo tired..

It's 1:40 a.m. Up doing homework for my SVA class tomorrow. I hope what I have to show is enough. I only did these 2 color comps. Technically, I had 4 more...but all of the freelance took a front seat. I'm bringing that along as proof that the dog didn't eat my homework... actually, he ate some pencils today. Off to bed!

Company in the studio

It's nice to have the dog, Jabba, up here in the studio now that he's 6 mos. old. Altho, now the cat, Anakin, will not come up. The dog loves the cat...the cat is plotting to kill the dog.

Womb Service

The client gave me more info on the T-shirt images. This is supposed to say "More Womb Service, Please." I think, "Hello, Womb Service?" is better.
I asked friends what they craved while pregnant: Curry Chicken- Falafel-fresh squeezed orange juice- Chinese Vegetables - Potato chips- chocolate milk- pineapples -steak. My own: Lemon Meringue pie and fish and chips with tarter sauce (really it was just the tarter sauce - but didn't want people to see me sucking on those little packets) Fast free research - friends.

This bird has flown..

Harry Potter. I'm sure those of you who don't care must be sick of all the hype. But for those of us who care, and care greatly..it's a pretty big deal this last book. I have often said that Harry potter saved my life. I was SO postpartum depressed the year after my daughter was born. My brother gave me the first two books for my birthday. I went away for a weekend, brought the books.. and my brain rebooted. I felt it happen. My imagination was jumped like a car engine that had died. BOOM!
I love Harry Potter. I love Hogwarts school of Magic. I love Hedwig. This owl has been one of my favorite characters. It's got attitude. Pecking Harry when it's pissed off. Hooting hello and flying off to wherever Harry sends it. Now, I want to imagine Hedwig flies off at the end of book seven. Maybe just maybe, if we wish hard enough, we'll see this snowy owl again.

Addendum:I just read the first few chapters... Hedwig died. I am afraid to read the rest, I'm already crying.

baby baby

Simpler baby design. I think client is not clear on what she wants. I hope I'm not going off in the totally wrong direction.

Old School

One day, while drawing up in the studio, my seven year old daughter, Maggie, said to me, "Mom, you're so old school!" I wasn't sure I had heard her right..so I asked her to repeat herself..and she did..."YOU ARE OLD-SCHOOL!" First, how the heck did she know what that means?
Second...ouch. The truth hurts. Out of the mouths of babes and all that.
I AM old school. Practically prehistoric prep. When approaching art, I rarely think outside the box. Literal that's me. Conceptual..deisgny..ironic...serious.. alternative..edgy... can't seem to find that inside. Perhaps I am just not deep, or haven't dug down deep enough-or don't want to. I am hoping to get past just drawing pretty pictures...into something more.

Buddha Dog concepts continue. One looks very animated..the other I tried to go the retro..cartoon modern route. I'll keep going..got the babies to do too. I do love my sketchbook pro,tho.

When it rains it pours..

More freelance! "Mommy to Be, Inc." needs a baby face. Four designs for maternity wear. All this and the class homework...oy vey. There goes my planned garage sale. Baby sketches. The client hasn't given me anymore info on what hey want other than telling what in my portfolio she likes and that she needs cute cartoon babies. I can do cute. But I'd like to simplify and make a little hip. I shall keep trying...

My life drawing

That's Rachel up there. She's a 14 year old girl who modeled for my drawing class. Almost three years ago, I joined a group called, "The Artist Mothers' Group". It's here in Long Island. It was formed by a group of women about eight years ago who just happened to meet at some Mommy and Me play place. They got to talking about what they did before their lives as Mothers and found they had all been artists. Then they found none of them were working, let alone creating anything. They decided to get together once a week at someone's house and draw. Then they began having models, childcare..and moved into a community center. I heard of them 2 years before I joined, I had hit a low point. I had a 2 year old, was doing NO art and was ready to give up on being an artist. One day I called, the next day I joined.
It's been the best thing. Sometimes life gets crazy and I don't have time to go, but I force myself to. Once I am there, with this group of women, chatting and drawing...it's like meditation must be for other people. Drawing from life is grounding. It's a workout for the eyes, the brain, the hands and the heart. Each drawing is a challenge. Does it look like them? Is it boring?Is it composed well? One line off and you can loose a likeness.
We have an art show up right now. We have one each summer. We've had two this year and hope for one in October too. Each woman works differently. Pastels, pencils, watercolors...weaving,photography,digital design, felting, etc. We all ground ourselves in the human figure. It's bliss.

Thank Buddha Dog!

Finally a freelance project I can sink my teeth into! Most of my recent freelance has been what I call big boobied bikini ladies. Everyone wants T and A. Even women. I don't get it. Well, I've done it too. I used to sell drawings of Playboy bunnies to boys in 6th grade for a quarter. I should post those...
Anyway, so I got this job for "Buddha Dog". Dog Spa and organic dog treats. Probably nowhere near as exciting a job as I think, but..I think it is. A chance to design a character, create a model sheet and design a logo/web banner. It's good for me! And I like my sketch so far! Did it in Sketchbook Pro. I hope the client likes it. I fall in love with my drawings too fast, she'll probably change it..what can you do? Namaste!

Pretty Good for a girl? Wha? WHo? WHy?

"Pretty good for,... a girl." I heard this a lot growing up, in high school, in college, and even in the work world. Hence the name for the blog. Sometimes it was said differently, "I've never seen a girl draw like you before." or " You draw like a guy" or "How do you know about Heavy Metal or Tex Avery or the Brothers Quay or whatever..." I remember being the only if maybe one of very few girls in the comic book shop. (This was the 70's and 80's- when I saved my change to buy Archie comics) Or being picked to be vice president of the Art Honor Society in High School behind a guy who had no intention of pursuing art as a career(he's a lawyer). I worked in an all guy animation studio during school and took film classes that were filled with all guys. Out in L.A. I was asked out during a job interview. Because I was a girl who could draw. Working professionally there were 2 women in the art department to a dozen men. During an animation workshop ...oh there's just too many tales to tell! The worst experience I ever had: College: Ralph Bakshi- big rotoscoping god in animation (Lord of the Rings, American Pop, Fire and Ice, yadda yadda..) ...comes to campus-to speak to film students. I go...hungry for any info about how to break into animation. I'm the only girl in a hundred seat auditorium. I listen as he talks about his career, he's funny, he's arrogant..I muster up the courage to ask a question during Q&A: "Mr. Bakshi, historically, animation has been predominantly a field filled with men animators? Is that changing? Are you seeing more women animators, are more doors opening for women?" His reply: " (Laughter-not a good start) Women don't have the stamina it takes to do animation. Honey, stay home and make babies. "(laughter fills the room) NO LIE!! He actually said that! In 1991-no less! Can you believe that???
Things seem different today, I hope I am right. I see so many websites and blogs by such talented young women. Doing exactly what I wanted to do years ago. Way to go! I admit I am envious but I feel much more awe at what they are doing. I will talk about them more later...
This sketch was done today at my life Drawing session. Every Tuesday 10-12:30. Chris is the model, he's 25. Makes me feel old. - Kel

In a Past Life

So, Kermit up there? He's from my past life. I was a licensed character artist for cartoon merchandisers for many years. First working at a T-shirt company for 5 years and then freelancing for lots of other people. I was mostly a concept artist. I rarely did the finish work. Which was great for my brain, bad for my portfolio. I have boxes and boxes of sketches and comps. All hand done. The computer only played a part the last few years of my doing merchandising artwork. I have mixed feelings about this period of my life. I got to draw my favorite characters from Mickey to Peanuts.... I pumped out a lot of ideas every day... I learned a lot , BUT I ran screaming from that world. By 1997, the cartoon characters that I was really passionate about were just products people were schilling and no one seemed to care about them but me. At least not the folks in charge. It was all dollars and sales figures and how can we dress up Bugs Bunny as a rapper again... Also, the companies like Warner Bros. and Disney stopped letting artists like me draw their characters. The model sheets became style guides..the style guides became the artwork. I was far too talented to cut and paste and draw clothes on their artwork. So, getting pregnant was an out. And I don't want back in. Fellow artists are always saying to me how I could easily get work in Licensing. Even licensed childrens' books. No Thank you. I spent too much time drawing other people's characters, I'm ready to create my own.

Today..Part Deux

So since I'm new to blogging..let's fill up the blog so it doesn't look so skimpy... These are my sketches for a homework assignment from SVA continuing-ed. My teacher is a quite accomoplished children's book Illustrator named Elizabeth Sayles. She's over in my links... The class is supposed to whip our portfolio's into shape. It's forcing me to focus on this thing I want called a career as an illustrator. So, the assignment was to interpret an article on jet lag. My concept being this couple taking a trip of a lifetime around the world. He's asleep in every shot, she's got that same vapid silly tourist smile. There's two more in the series. The last being of her passed out in the airport to go home and him wide awake and wired and wearing all souvenir cheesey..stuff. If only I could condense it into one image. But I still think in panels like a comic strip..I will work on that.... I like my drawings tho. I usually like my drawings more than my finish. I hope to do these in Illustrator, maybe they'll be done by the end of the class. I've got another Illustration on the back burner...I'll add that later.

I thought I would go into who I am next post..what I've done and such. I do actually have some history as a working cartoonist and some of it is kind of interesting. .. really.

Dog on the brain

Dog on the brain...'cause I've got my 6 mos old Golden Retriever puppy Jabba who I took to the vet today. That's Jabba the Mutt @ 8 weeks old. I love dogs. I had three growing up. A beagle puppy that didn't last long when I was a baby...I don't remeber it, but I'm sure it must have left me with the doggie loving tendancy. Then there was "Mittens". A crazy Lasa Ahpso (spell?) It loved my Dad and brother but hated me. It was one of those dog in the Christmas stocking mistakes. In 1977 we got Taffy out of a shopping cart at the grocery store. She died in 1994. 18 years of the best dog that ever lived. She was a mutt that looked a little like Benji. I still get teary about her.There's also a picture of Taffy's dopleganger, Timon who lives in St. Maarten. I visit him every year when we go. Anyway...I love dogs and love to draw them.
I fooled around with that dog sketch on Sketchbook Pro. Not quite sure of the program. Photoshop is so much more precise and Illustrator so sharp and clean in comparison. Still, not horrible, but not quite the look I was shooting for...First try. I wanted more of the 20's look... I will try again. Now I have some freelance to do for "Buddah Dog" Dog spa and treats Co. I will post that as it goes along. I also have some homework I'll post from my SVA continuiing-ed class.

'Til then...